Shiva's

Lust

2010-02-26T03:24:00.000-08:00

A sexy God and a sexy Life

2010-02-24T14:36:00.000-08:00

Cant help but admire and be awed by some fellow beings' Courage to inhabit strength during testing times, and to view those times as testing rather than hopeless.. Just about read and re- tweeted a tweet by Lisa Ray( "Are we really like tea bags? Don't know our strength until we're in hot water?...") who, not very long ago, had been diagnosed with Bone Marrow Cancer.. And I remember her so graciously stepping out for one of her films' Premiere at the Toronto Film Festival in just a few days' time.. She had not been slumped by the shock and darkness of the situation and shrunken into a world that then had a locked door between her and the bigger world that she inhabited earlier.

And many of us, I think, do not realise the presence or not, of that valour in us, until we are faced with one such situation which is a stair from the smooth plane of comfortable life.

With every step we climb and with every pocket of strength that's been spent in doing so, we think that That is it;
we cannot climb any more and the last pocket of strength had been spent and the smooth plane shall resurface, only to see another step appearing before us,
only to discover another pocket of strength to aid us doing so,
only to see that we could climb once again,
only to think yet again that we cannot climb any more and the last pocket of strength had by now been definitely spent
and its high time that the smooth plane should resurface.
We keep doing it, only to realise that this process,
though irregular in altitude, is perennial,
and though uneven in time- scale, is consequent.

The beauty of this process I guess, is that its not always compulsory; in fact most of the times, it is voluntary;
Though at times it is a Test, most of the times it is Growth;
Let's passionately lust after life, vigorously make love to it;
Be thrown away by it, only to see it throwing itself upon us more lustfully.
Touch it, only to be hugged back by it;
Kiss it, only to be smooched back by it.
Let life love us, so that it pulls us back to its fold every time we try and run away from it..
Lets thrust ourselves forcefully on it so that it caresses its lips across the ears.. So that it kisses our fingers when we slap across its face;
So that we could cuddle it when it bites the very finger that it kissed..
Life, along with God, is one of the most under- rated Sex symbols in existence that are undeniably, never- endingly lust & love worthy!
Indeed, the both of them are eternally Sexy- though sometimes explicitly, and mostly implicitly

2010-02-23T16:41:00.000-08:00

Watched a documentary on youtube on Marc Jacobs..I have been totally obsessed wid him & his works for sometime now.. Wonder How come its taken me ages to discover this Super-sexy Brain!!! What a Personality, what a life, what courage, what creativity, what a stunning outlook towards Art and Life in general.. All topped by such delightfully arrogant nonchalance..

Things that some people do might seem deceptively spontaneous.. The actions may present a deceptive image that camouflages the underlying thought process of a being who embodies wisdom that could even be sometimes incorrect.. Well there are also times when the only deception ever involved is that of the very mind that is made to think that what it sees is a deceptive crust that hides the deeper layers within, when there are no such layers at all.. A deception that is initiated by a refusal to accept the sudden simplicity that might potentially become associated with and eventually de- construct and destroy the glamorous Complexity that's been delightfully & feverishly built upon by premonitions..

Marc perplexes me at times as which of these he is..

Anna Wintour(Editor- in- chief, Vogue US) says that to her daughter and their friends, Marc is God.. Well if i could borrow a brilliant phrase of Arundhati Roy's that has five words(1. The 2. God 3. of 4. Small 5. Things), Marc truly is one of the many Gods of smaller but stunningly beautiful and strikingly impressive things of absolute pleasure,joy and erotic vigour.. A God who is unbelievably identifiable with the self for a change.. A God who could be admired yet despised, worshipped but doubted upon.. Indeed he is A God who's seemingly treacherous, uncomfortably non- diplomatic, regularly incorrect and thus, so refreshingly imperfect..

"Be Mine or Make me yours"

2009-04-13T13:54:00.000-07:00

This beautiful title has been called by me as 'beautiful' because its not my own :-)
Rather its the name of a community at orkut, whose name really caught my interest. Relationships between humans have always amused me. The kind of bonds people share between themselves, would be a spell no one would ever be able to crack i suppose.. And the one aspect of it that most enchantingly perplexes me is the roles that have been conventionally destined to be taken by a man and a woman.. Ideally, it seems 'Be Mine' is something that a Man would be asking to his beloved and 'Make me yours' would be a phrase that would be spelt out by a woman to the man she wants to belong to.. It appears that The authority of the former encapsulates and expresses the masculinity in the psyche that spells it and 'make me yours' seems to absolutely submit and surrender the femininity of the woman's self.. I often wonder as whether this casting of the roles for a MAN and WOMAN respectively is a convention or the fact of life.. Can it be that Black and White? I have heard people telling that there is nothing in this world as Black and White, and everything and everyone is GRAY!! Sometimes i think that both a man and a woman take turns and take these roles.. Predominantly, a MAN, it seems, must be a MAN who performs his destined role convincingly, with a mind that thinks accordingly too; and so do the women it seems! A woman expects security from her man.. She wants herself to be the one who is being hugged. But there seem to be times when a man crumbles into her arms, lies at her lap and sheds all his skin and surrenders himself as a naked bundle of vulnerability, which is stripped of all its prejudices; and he allows her to take the role of his mother and not just a partner.. And there she becomes a man.. Perhaps all women take the roles of men at one time or the other;
I get rather puzzled at times because of this unclear and inter- merging territory of roles that lack a distinction between each other.. Are the male and female minds choreographed by their pre- requisites to think in the conventional way, or am i just slinging mud at the NATURAL by calling it CONVENTIONAL?

You are a man, and that is why you naturally are thinking the way you do; or you think the way you do, because that is how you suppose you ought to think when you are a man? And same for the women! If that is so, are MAN and WOMAN terms that are given to people based on their psyche, or the anatomy? Is anatomy an unconditional determinant for a human's psychology? If that is so, what would explain the mixture of the classified masculine and feminine roles that a man and a woman take up in random, in their life times? Can somebody be a giver all through life to a taker and vice versa? When you are a MAN and you want your female partner to be a giver, do you disqualify from being called a MAN? and the same for the Woman.

Whom do humans fall in love with? With a qualified member of the opposite 'sex' or a fellow human with a complementary thinking, who happens to be a member of the opposite 'sex'? How many of us play just one role all through life? Are MAN and WOMAN two terms qualified enough to classify the inexplicably multifaceted humans so distinctively the way they do? So if you have a partner, do you always take the one same position!!??

"Slumdog Millionaire"

2009-04-10T03:16:00.000-07:00

I have been intending to write about this whole "Slumdog Millionaire" phenomenon.. PHENOMENON? Well.. That is what this movie has been made out to be! I watched it only after the Oscar and the other award fiascoes.Did i like it? Well once Rajeev Masand (i hope am spelling it right) of CNN- IBN remarked that a problem about the old movies that are considered classics are that we would have already heard everybody telling that they are CLASSICS and thereby when we watch them, we do so with a premonition that it IS going to be fabulous.. And i think, after seeing them, if they are good enough, we join the bandwagon and start spreading word as whadda brilliant film it is.. What is pathetic though is that most of the times, even if we dont find them good enough, or say we find it perplexing as "Well! is it really not good enough or do i not have brains enough to understand it???", we end up avoiding the risque of being called as not- intelligent enough to understand them, and hence safely reiterate that they are Brilliant indeed.. (Well, If you are not used to doing so, you must be either cynical or really Strong headed and rational.. Not to mention that such species is a rarity.)
By saying so, people somehow try and squeeze themselves into a bracket that is considered as the Intelligentsia! Whats sad is that through this personal prejudice, many mediocre films get classified as CLASSICS and MASTERPIECES. I think it would have been exactly the same issue with me and SD-M, had i not woken up to the fact that it IS indeed a plain average piece of work.

And the whole argument surrounding it as whether it shows India in poor light or not.. People argue that it indeed shows what exists in actuality and we should accept reality and we should not feel embarrassed about our poverty being showcased to the West. They say that there have even been films made on the West's underbelly. Excuse me? True. We have seen films on Westen mafia and their flip side. But what is the primary conception of the World about the West? Richer, more prosperous, more decent, more civilised, more educated. The East? Well, the antonyms of every previous term. The West, with all its Persona of being the better world, when exposed of its underbelly, does not have the risk of being seen that its the Mafia and Vandalism that are predominant in their world. With the kind of impression that they have upon the world, they can afford a movie showing exposing its dark side. But what about India? Do we already enjoy the kind of sophisticated image that the West enjoys? I remember Ms. Aishwarya Rai saying in the Oprah Winfrey show that when her co- participants in the Miss World Event saw her speaking fluent english, they seem to have asked as whether she had been brought up and educated abroad!! Well we are already seen as a "Third- world" by the common man of the West.. They ask me that will I not be losing weight when I go on a holiday to India. They have their televisions showing images of Our rural people and asking them to donate for the betterment of the under privileged. They have programs made where the Gujjar protests and rural plights are highlighted. While that is the kind of image that we already have, this SlumDog is exactly the oil poured over the fire.. It reiterates all their previous stereo- typical ideas about us! And more importantly, it satisfies them that they are better placed and better abled!

And what is this mindless argument that the ones who say that Slumdog Millionaire shows India in poor light, are cowards who fail to accept truth. Well so we should not feel bad about our dark side showcased to the West? Let us say that I have a guest coming to my apartment. Wont i clean the room and change sheets and make it presentable? What will I serve them? Wont I be serving them special food? Why? Because I want to show myself in a better light, by putting an extra efoort. That does not mean that i eat gourmet food on an everyday basis. Why should I serve them porridge and bread when i indeed am capable of serving a feast? We always favour the choosing of the better of the available options, don't we? Why did Mr. Anil Kappor wear and go an Armani suit? Come on guys, its also a reality that his wardrobe also has pajamas and nightpants. Why not wear them and go? He chose not to, Inorder to show that he is indeed better abled. When that applies for him, why cant India enjoy the same when it too has a better side?

The norm of the world, i think, is to put ourselves forward in the better of ways- may it be between individuals, or families, or towns, or cities.. Whatever be the hardships, let it be within ourselves.. We dont walk naked telling that its also the reality! Cosmetics are the quintessential parts of everyday life! If a family fights in the street, do we call it natural? or indecent? that may not mean that the rest are singing hymns in a chorus inside their homes. everybody has their quarrels. But they are within the intimacy of four walls! Why should we celebrate and rejoice at our dirty linen being washed out in the open?

Danny Boyle is not to be blamed. He sees India with a Westerner's eye. He had a vision, executed it, and the West chose to appreciate it. Fair enough. Their sensibility. Their judgement. Their Award. They may or may not have chosen to acknowledge it. (Though i have a premonition that down the line, in a few years' time, they ll come to their senses and say that this was one of the weakest films to have won the Best Picture Oscar and many more)But we saw it being appreciated by them and naturally accepted their superiority and chose to appreciate it irrationally. We have seen movies with better themes, and better movies made with the same theme.

But why did we go ga- ga over it? Shouldn't we have underplayed the whole Slumdog episode? I think SDM is as much India's as The Reader is Germany's. THAT IS IT. Why did we go bananas when our Nation's name was spelt in a Western arena, even though it came at the price of our self- respect? We neither want to be sympathised nor to be looked down at. Let us first accept the harsh reality to ourselves and work with dignity and self- respect WITHIN OURSELVES, become and be known for our better and healthier prospects all around the world, if we choose to desire for that acknowledgement. This real division of opinion in our country over this idea is not a war between the classes and masses. Rather its btw the classy and the non- claay.. One may not be rich to be classy! And all the rich may not be classy either. Didn't we see Mr. Kapoor jumping to the front of the stage shamelessly and doing bufoonary at the rest of the times as well? Let us unite to be one classy bunch!
Then there would be a time, when we may not care about a future "Slumdog millionaire"'s potential to tarnish our image. Till then, let us not shamelessly celebrate the exposure of our wounds. Nobody says that we dont have wounds. Lets heal them by ourselves first. And then we can proudly show the scar that we have indeed healed. Not to mention, that One day the scars too will disappear. Till then, Jai Ho!! :D :D

The System: 1

2009-04-09T15:31:00.000-07:00

The Central Government Elections are fast approaching in India and it is anticipated to be the bloodiest and most corrupt election India has seen so far.. Well isn't that shameful enough? A News channel screams aloud that its the "place of the elections" and has already started making mountains out of molehills, as it always does. Afterall, who is better at that than the New Indian Media.. Over- enthusiastic would be too small a word to describe their attitude i suppose. And I have serious doubts these days as what their jobs are.. Is it to "report news" or is it to "make news"? I think the latter is becoming more and more true these days.. More on the Media some other day.
Well What does a General Election mean to a common person? We see stars and celebrities parading in the channels these days asking people to cast their votes.. Another celebrity says in her interview that she would be out of the country at the election time but would promptly drop in on the D- day and cast her votes and fly back again! Doesn't that sound artificial and far from what could be the truth? Or iam jus being plain cynical? May be i think this way because i am doubtful about the relevance and importance of the individual citizens of the country as far as the bigger scheme of things are concerned..
Politicians have started their campaigns. But who attends these meetings? A common working class man? ha, Are you kidding?
A Politician/Political Critic says in a debate that its been long since principles and faiths became extinct from Politics.. First of all why is "Politics" treated as a seperate word and a seperate area, as though we may or may not choose to be inclusive within its territory? Doesn't it include you, me and everyone of us? Doesn't it include all the other walks of our life, may it be the scientific or technical and even survival aspects of it?
Politics and subsequently, the policies of these Politicians, are the institutions that determine and control our life predominantly. It is this system that tells you that it is wrong if you kill somebody, even if he had ruthlessly killed all your family and friends in front of your eyes. Yes. The very same system that presents innumerous loopholes through which criminals walk free of anything and everything. Jessica Lal gets murdered right in front of a hundred eyes and the system almost gives a judgement that Nobody killed her!!
It is this system that tells you what share of your salary should you pay as a tax.
Yes Gentlemen. The very system at which you do not have a say at where it goes or how it is spent.
And who are the ones who control and run this system? Criminals & ex- criminals eyeing up a period of five years that would help them evolve into future criminals as well!

I watch in sheer amusement about the issue of this Mr. Tytler who has been given a clean chit by the CBI to contest in elections; And the Sikhs protest saying that he was a key player in the riots against Sikhs in 1984, responsible for mass killings. My issue is that he may or may not be involved in it. But in this country of crores, can't a clean alternative canditate be found? If his background is as controversial, why should he be chosen by the Party? Not just him, but every party seems to try and bury the apparent and alleged ugly backgrounds of individuals and enable their candidature..But why them?
Why not get somebody who really wishes to do something for the constituency and its people? When there are a million selection preocesses for choosing a person for as basic a position of the government as a Police Constable, Why is there nothing for a Candidate? Why can't each party invite natives of that constituency who agree with the party's ideologies, to come up with plans and proposals; and select one from them to contest as their candidate? Not Practical? Didnt we see a different, larger model of this where the people instead voted to choose their Democratic Candidate?

The very unique Ms. Shobhaa De writes in her blog about this lady called Meera Sanyal, who is a former banker and who is spending her life's savings by becoming an individual candidate in her native south Mumbai. Reason? She could no longer stand the failed system and especially after the 26/11 attacks.. Shouldn't these Meeras be lapped up by parties and be backed by them to help execute their visions?
Let us suspend our disbelief that an individual is too small an entity to determine the system.. Are the Politicians descendants from a superior alien land?
Are we, with all our intelligent thoughts, ready to place ourselves time and again, at the hands of illicit & irrational goons, and allow them to determine the scheme of things for our life?
When was the last time there was a TRUE Revolution?
Sometimes, Ignorance is NOT a Bliss!!

The EGG- SPLOSION!!!! :-) :-)

2009-03-31T20:00:00.000-07:00

Where do i even start about the terriblest faux pas that could ever happen!! Today's Egg- splosion!! I think of it, and every other second, am keeping on bursting into silly giggles arising in my tummy!! Oh no!! Ok let me get into the real matter without any further ado!
Not so long ago, one of our Module Heads Dr. Alec Robertson announced this (hee.. hee..giggle!!) competition called EGG- IT, which is to make egg cases as groups, that wud not break their eggs inside them when they r dropped from a height of 2 metres, thrice (hee hee hee hee.. longer giggle..) We were least interested bcos 1. We are fashion Students. 2. Its not going to be marked. Everybody else was telling the same that they too r not gonna give this a damn! The works were divided within our five- member group and mine was the preparation of a presentation regarding the materials tat we used and stuff like that, that should be accompanied by the dropping test! ideas were discussed in the name of BRAIN STORMING, with the most possible level of disinterest ofcourse and even a feather wud not 've lifted up frm the STORM tat was created!!
D- Day arrives.. One girl of our group "chickens out" (apt usage of words for a egg- based venture isn;t it!! :-) :-) ) at the last minute sayin some excuse!! And i pull up my clothes hurriedly in half sleep at 8.30 AM and rush to library to meet Misses. BF and SD aftr sippin a cuppa coffee en route for a last moment re arrangement!
Guess what!! Today all d other groups turned up with fairly interesting stuff(most of them were weird ofcourse :D), not to forget one particular girl's anxious expressions, tat were met only with pathetic disappointment.. Well her issue was tat her group had made a funny film abt this whole idiot- project ( I hope Dr. Robertson is not reading this.. lol.. :D ) and she was waiting anxiously for the audience reaction.. and.. and.. and.. IT FELL ULTRA FLAT!!!! But hey.. It was IN FACT quite funny as far as i understood (2% may be?).. But may be too- english for a majorly oriental audience perhaps? The audience had the expression tat wud be befitting for a Clint Eastwood film!! Alas!
I got reminded of wat Mr. Javed Akhtar said in the show "Koffee with Karan" about his wife Shabhana ji as "Whenever i try to tell a joke to Shabhana, she tries to SOLVE it!!!!"(
Above all, the audio was poor and was so inaudible.. acoustics didnt help either.. Well the hall didnt happen to be one of our ADLABS or PVR Multiplexes u see! (But tat has an advantage too!! no uncleared spilled popcorn all o'er the floor, as i hear they are these days!! :-) :-))
And did i say, i felt sorry for that girl and laughed at two- three places which i didnt even hear a bit..poor thing.. Not to mention, at those exact points, SD sittin nxt, to add to my woes, asked me "what was it?!?!" erm.. well.. BLINK.. BLINK..
But four groups' eggs broke at the second/ third falls.. We were telling each other
fairly confidently tat ours wont break!
(Inner feeling for each of us: " Well if ours breaks, it wont be tat shameful after all!! Whoopie.. Others' too have broken!! hee hee..")
And ta daa.. Our slot came..
We went there.. A Ph.D student who had taken the role of Videographer corrected our positions.. Well he was known to me..Must go and check out whether he has filmed me properly.. must ask him to do a bit of editing here and there.. a bit of a hair cut.. some ironing to my shirt perhaps? and ya.. a bit of tucking in of the shirt may be? and one last thing.. a clean shave too?.. not much isn't it!
And i made all the fuss about the eco- friendly materials of the box(Yes..Didn't you know tat "Eco- friendly" is so fancy a word these days? ), tat it cud be made at home, tat it has closed- cell foam and trucks and trucks of crap.. And a 3D demo made by Miss. M to show hw the egg wont break..
Well did i say we baptised our group as "EGG- CELLENT!!" (innovative isn't it!!)
And ya.. I tried to b funny at several points and boy! To my surprise,They kinda worked!! I didn't expect them to, u see!
I had thus already reached salvation even b4 the dropping- exercise!hmm.. :-)
Oh Shiva.. Wake up dude!!
Then the dropping.. M climbs.. SD, BF and I wait.. audience looks..
1.. 2.. 3..DROP!! box to be opened and checked.. Hey Bhagwaan!! Has the egg cracked!! No!! Oh has it not broken? No for that too!! then?
NAHEEEEEEEEEE!! It has actually EXPLODED!! SHATTERED.. TOTALLY SMASHED ALL OVER.. SPILLED OUTSIDE.. SD runs away into the loo wid the box.. M runs behind her.. EVERYBODY laughs.. ME the loudest!!!! BF shouts " BLOODY HELL" at the midst of all the peels of laughter!! Hers including !!
And i suggest.. We Shud 've titled ours instead as EGG- splosion!! M suggests a change: EGGCELLENT EGGSPLOSION!! Very Well!!
We have big big big laugh!!
I suggest tat we should 've kept a chicken doll inside the box and took it out after the drop and tol' ppl tat the egg has infact hatched!!!!!
We all continue laughin over the debacle!!!!!
Afterall, there isn't a better way to avoid embarassment than to laugh at it by urself even b4 others u see :-) :-)
Cheers!! Stay Cheerful!!!!

The Endless road to a Revolution

2009-03-30T12:14:00.000-07:00

Somewhere around a month ago, i watched this very disturbing movie called "The Revolutionary Road" and it has so strongly stayed in my mind since then. I do not wish to get into what the story of the movie was, for it will make me travel more distinctively through the pain and perplexity of the life portrayed.. Well to put it in a line, its about a woman trapped in a wealthy, peaceful marriage.. Well that does not sound problematic, does it? Well in contrary, it actually IS problematic, for it had also been dysfunctional and allowed no room for her personal growth and had curbed her growth as an individual.. A husband who has made up his mind to do a boring job for all his life.. A sub- urban neighbourhood that considers permanent silence and absence of activity as a bliss.. A world that dubs soberness, dullness and coldness as prosperity.. She charts out a plan to escape from this lifelessness as a family, including her husband and two kids to Paris, to explore life, to chart out the uncharted and fill life back with its lost spirit.. And did that happen? How can it when all it takes his Management to convince the husband to stay back with this one grave yard of a life is just a promotion and a salary increase?
To top it all, She gets pregnant for the third time around, she loses her argument with her husband when he says that it is impossible to raise a baby in an all- new country.. She, who in spite of loving her first two children thinks that the arrival of another baby would curtail her freedom even more, realises that the final nail has thus been laid on her plan..

An interesting point that one understands at the middle of the movie was that, At first she puts it to her husband that if they leave to Paris once for all from New York, he would get a chance to get rid of his gloomy profession, and explore, find out and do whatever he wants to in Paris, till which she would work as a translator and support him.. But later we discover that though she indeed cares for her husband and indeed genuinely thinks that her husband too could get rid of his monotonous life, its primarily HER OWN desperation to get rid of the un- happening sub- urban life as a house wife that drives her intentions towards a life in Paris..

Well the first question that arose in my mind was why was she not ready to leave her husband and family back and go pursue her dreams? But how will she!!! She loves him, doesn't she!
Oh and what about the children.. Where would they go? Who' ll take care of them? One sees that It was all this need to keep the family together that trapped her from moving an inch from where she was..

My genuine disbelief in the system of marriage came to the surface once again when i saw this.. Why are marriages for in the first place? When two people love one another and each of them thinks that their partner is sufficient for them in whatever ways, they WOULD stay together.. Who is proved a point through a marriage? A recognition for a child that is born out of this relationship, isn't it! Well if the couple are indeed happy together, they ARE going to stay together and the baby indeed is going to live with these happy parents.. But what about an unfortunate child who gets caged up along with two unhappy people UNDERGOING the punishment for a mistake committed in the name of marriage- which is an existence under the same roof? Isn't it a crime to not bury a dead marriage, and instead allow the child to take the nasty stink of it for no mistake of its' ?Is it not better that the child has parents who live happy lives of their own, no matter whether they are together or not?

Lets leave the UNHAPPY MARRIAGE scenario.. Take a prosperous marriage.. A loving wife.. A caring husband and beautiful children.. What if one of the spouses realise after years of marriage that, his/her personal/individual dreams are much more bigger than the marriage and family that he/she is in.. That he/she has no option left but to sacrifice her individual interest for the sake of her loving "FAMILY"!!

Why should one be pulled back from what he aspires to be, by a resisting spouse or partner? Well what is the meaning of love then? Is it about flying together, or is it about pulling back the person who wishes to fly and living in the cage together? Are we all not individuals in the first place? We are born to love! But what meaning does a love that is suicidal hold?

My Professor has a haunting poster put at her cabin door, which states that "I wanted to go out and change the world but i could not find a baby sitter!" Whenever i think of it, It makes me truly worry as What kind of a social set- up do we live in! I find myself as liberated with a lifestyle that has endless freedom.. The thoughts of a shared existence in the future petrify me for no end.. Is it not an unrectifiable crime if u do not allow ur partner to pursue his/her own dreams? How pure is a love that arrests back ur partner rather than liberating him? Is it justifiable to sacrifice several aspects of ur dreams for the love of a fellow human? Is it actually bigger than what you want for urself from ur own life?
Is or is not the world and its innumerable mysteries so immeasurably, unimaginably bigger to be explored from within the four suffocating, confining walls of a "FAMILY"?

At the end of the movie, she does an abortion to herself, knowing that it is too late and it would kill her.. But she does it, knowing that she has no way out of her trapped life but to die, for her heart doesn't allow her to leave her husband and children and pursue her dreams alone.. And she wants to die victoriously.. Surprisingly, her final moments when she stands by the window and when drops of blood drip down her, it created multifarious emotions in me.. Terrible misery and sorrow for her.. But i also felt a sense of liberation for her.. A strong inhale of a litre of oxygen.. Like Finally!! I felt feather- light..

Why do the pursuit and achievement of personal- dreams come at the price of love towards the family and the other loved- ones, for most of the people, at one point or the other?
In that case, What is important in life and what is not?
Well, What is the meaning of life that awaits to be discovered?

Excellence

2009-03-29T11:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night, i saw for the second time, the very beautiful movie- Ron Howard's "A Beautiful Mind". The last I time watched it should have been around five years ago.. Even then, i was taken in by its very interesting story telling.. And since it was the first time i watched it, the suspense element was intact and when it was revealed at the midst of the movie, it sent a chill through the body.. But this time, i had a better ability to appreciate it.. I got reminded of an incident that occurred some 12 years ago, when i had just completed my third level of Hindi examination "Rashtrabaashaa".. My mother then told me that i could study the rest of the levels after i grow up, for that would make me capable of actually appreciating the beauty of what i study, the ability to do which had not been possessed by me at that early age.. Coming back to "A Beautiful Mind", i remember watching the particular Oscar ceremony when the movie participated.. I still remember Jennifer Conolley going up the stage and collecting her award for the Best Supporting Actor- female, for hers was the most composed and collected response exhibited by a winner when their names were announced, as far as i had seen.. And i also remember having a discussion later about this movie when one of my brother figures suggested that, at the year before that year, Denzel Washington's performance was more deserving of an Oscar then Russell Crowe's, and ironically, when Mr. Washington won it that year for "Training Day", it was Mr. Crowe who was far more deserving of it for his performance in "A Beautiful Mind".. His enactment of the unrelenting vulnerable real- life genius John Nash was truly an art painted by Crowe with passion, sincerity and selflessness..

When i watched the movie, I was once again struck by how the society responds when an individual slips out of what is considered normal.. In Nash's case, it was schizophrenia.. But this particular impact about the way Nash's society, which includes the astonishingly understanding and phenomenally supportive Mrs. Nash, responded to his condition was far more positive than how many other strata of the society would react i suppose, to an extent that made me feel sympathetic towards them, in spite of my misery for Nash's agony, for they had had to endure the consequences of Nash's unfortunate state.. Finally he wins the Nobel..
I experienced sublime joy for the success of this Man who had not been the conventional, everyday kind of a so- called "NORMAL" guy..
After all, I know how it is to be a person who is not very similar to his peer group..
I felt truly charged- up and fuelled by his endurance through the initial mockery, and his belief on his own self, which finally leads him to not just acceptance, but unprecedented appreciation..
Also, One of the range of thoughts that this tale evoked in me was that i felt truly sad about myself for not being born as a genius.. I for one believe that though knowledge is something that needs to be learnt and acquired, initially, geniuses are to be BORN AS GENIUSES.. It made me want to explore myself deeper, and try and be the best at whatever i am potent enough to be the best at, for the bliss that would be bestowed upon one by EXCELLENCE would always be unmatched..
And another reaction it evoked is a regret that would always be in me- My inability for not being able to evolve into a scholar in a FIELD OF SCIENCE OR MATHEMATICS.. And not being able to be a researcher at Harvard or Cambridge or MIT ot Princeton.. The same kind of heart- burn i had experienced when i had walked through the campuses of one of India's National Institutes of Technology or heard tales of IITs or Oxford.. But i suppose i have to make my mind up that ONE can not be EVERYONE..
To me, We may not be able to be the best at everything, but we SHOULD strive to achieve excellence in select fields at which we have been blessed with the fortuity to excel.. Sometime earlier, I had read in a celebrity blog that Mediocrity is a disease that we should never allow to catch us.. It made me re- realise, that Never should we settle for the mediocre way of life, the temptation to do which might creep in at times because of the convenience it would appear to offer..

At the end of it, The movie, like many other favourites of mine, may it be through the subtlety of its theme, or the thought processes that would have gone behind it, or the kind of world and people it portrayed, or the experience it offered as a whole, once again made me reassure within myself that there is just one way to live life and that is to stand out by being truly classy in every which way.. Cheers!

Meanwhile,THE AUDIO DOCUMENT I HAVE ATTACHED IS AN OSCAR WINNING SCORE BY THE MYSTICALLY BRILLIANT GUSTAVO SANTAOLALLA FROM THE MOVIE BABEL.. HEAR IT TO SUBLIMATE UR SELF IN A SEA OF HOPE, BLISS AND POSITIVITY..
NOTE: By the uploading of this material, no copyright infringement has been intended. SOURCE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfusxHokCDg

Creativity & Me: 4

2009-03-28T04:18:00.000-07:00

(Source: Internet Image)
Its been a while since i wrote the three earlier posts of the "Creativity & Me" Series.. So here i am, writing an addition to it.. Well what triggered, or may i say, kindled me to write this is a Concert that i watched Online.. It seems to have happened somewhere around the years 2005- 2006.. It was called the "Unity of Light".. There was this huge live orchestra on the stage which would have comprised of around 200 artists.. In the middle of all it was the Man himself, Mr. A R Rahman, and the lead singer was the very regal Lata Mangeshkar.. and in the middle of this song, there was this small jugal- bandhi of instrumentalists, with the gifted and talented Mr. Shivamani at the helm.. People should actually watch it to believe what i say.. They appeared to enjoy themselves so much through the experience that it appeared that they were having a passionate, vigorous conversation between each other, but in a multitude of languages which surprisingly had the ability to be understood by each other, the languages being the rhythms arising out of each of their instruments..
I was filled with so much envy and desire, that i wished i were a part of a world- class symphony orchestra or something like that of Rahman's.. I got reminded of this song that we used to perform earlier.. One that is called "Aedhaenum Aageno", which has its writer longing to be ANYTHING at the Great Tamil Poet KAMBAN's home, just because he simply wished to co- exist at a place that would have the presence of such a Creator..
They say Music is a language in itself, and what i think as the single quality that makes it stand out from the rest of the languages is that, one may not necessarily KNOW it or have LEARNT it to UNDERSTAND it and enjoy himself through it and with it!!
I have felt the same while i watch Anoushka Shankar playing the Sitar.. She used to appear as if through the process of playing it, she bathes in a water fall of ecstasy and revels in a state of eternal bliss and pleasure.. It used to appear to me that she and her Sitar are making passionate love to each other..
I have the experience of feeling it myself when i perform dance on stage.. One such memorable experience is when i performed a folk dance duet called "Kuravan Kurathi" in my hometown, around 10 years ago.. At the end of it, my father told me that out of all the performances that i had given till then, that was the one he liked the most, the reason being that i LOST MYSELF IN THE DANCE and that I WAS NOT PERFORMING IT FROM A CONSCIOUS LEVEL OF THINKING AND CONTROL OVER MYSELF..
The beauty of any creative process, i think, lies at a point when one loses himself behind and allows the entry of Divinity into the place that he had been occupying.. Unsurprisingly, it appears that these two can never co- exist- divine bliss and the consciousness of the self!!
I Thank God for allowing me to operate in Creative fields, for i could never imagine placing myself at a life that gives no room for doing the not- so- obvious things!!
The beauty of the Creative fields, therein seems to be omni- present: like the air in the atmosphere and the blood within the body.. Even if one is not destined to a Life at a Creative field, At the midst of all the mechanisations of a monotonous life, it just needs a bit of velleity to look out for the creativity- may it be inside oneself or outside, to rediscover and relish the Beauty of one's self and of the rest of the world.. and to reassure and awaken the sleeping soul within oneself that it has a Human body, which has a mind in-turn, that indeed cares for it and wishes to keep it alive; AND VICE VERSA!!!! :-)

"ME" or "YOUR ME" : 2

2009-03-27T10:41:00.000-07:00

(Photo by a friend)
I did not write yesterday's post with an intention of having a sequel to it..but somehow this thought, which is very much in relevance to yesterday's title occurred to me and so am writing on it again..
Well, this particular thought process started when i was watching this interview of a celebrity, where he was telling about the way he deals with people. It was so strikingly close to the person i am and the way i interact with the members of the society..
To put things clearly, how does one act and react when he meets a person?
The simplest answer would be to just be and behave like one's own self, with anyone and at any situation.. But i think i seldom do it.. Basically, there are like some three ways of behaviour that i follow..
The first way is that, when i meet a stranger, i would behave in a way that would be in accordance with the kind of person i want myself to be perceived as..
The second way is that, when i know a person for quite a while, i would behave in such a way that it would be in endearment with their own thought process, and what they would want me to be like and how they would expect me to behave..
The third way is that, when i know a person too well, i at times behave in such a way where i lose all the control over myself, and be as crazy and uninhibited as i could be..
Along with this, when i come across an alluring character or a personality in a movie or a novel or an interview, i tend to unknowingly walk and talk and behave like that person..
Somewhere in between all these, am i losing the real me?
If so, why is that happening- Is it because the 'real me' does not have the steam to stand aloft at all circumstnces that i place myself in?
But i must also say that a thing of commonality in all the personalties that i acquire for the time- being, is that there would always be a basic piece of myself that would be unaltered.. What would alter though, would be the other aspects of my personality and when they are compared, they would be too contradictory between each other to be exhibited by one single person..
I have this fear as whether i have allowed the blurring of my true, original personality and attributes in this quest of adaptability..
Is this what is called the Survival of the fittest?
That you should either be born as the fittest, or evolve into the fittest or atleast act like the fittest?

"ME" or "YOUR ME"

2009-03-26T19:01:00.000-07:00

(photo by a friend)
I have not written for quite a while.. but not in the mood to get into explanations and excuses, whatsoever!
so,yet again i've resolved to be regular.. hope i stick to it this time around..
now what do i write.. i generally tend to think of issues which are either emotional or intellectual.. but writing something that is emotionally relevant is easier than writing an intellectual subject i suppose..
First of all, Why do we associate emotions with the heart, while its the brain that does all the thinking? Why do we feel a feather- brush across the heart when we think about something intimate to our basic qualities as a human..
Why do we call things that are so very close to us as 'heart- felt' or 'close- to- the- heart' or 'straight- from- the- heart'?
Why do we place our hands in the heart when expressing something so personal?
There must be a reason.. but let me not kill the very essence of emotions by 'THINKING' about them and trying to kind of 'DISSECT' them..
Afterall, they are called EMOTIONS, for they ARE MEANT to simply be FELT than being THOUGHT ABOUT and ANALYSED i suppose..
And as usual, as my dad says, i started out to write something else and instead, has got carried away with.. well!! .. "Emotions" again!!!!! :-)
Well I must talk about many movies and about the quality of movies in general sometime in the future..
A couple of months ago, i watched this movie called "Rab ne bana di Jodi", which translates as "A pair made by God"..
It had a very lovely idea, which i was thinking about later, and an idea contrasting to it stuck me from another series i used to watch..
Well the two contrasting ideas are about the same subject.. Love!
The former is of the idea that when one loves a person to an immeasurable extent, he would not mind going to any lengths in changing himself, even permanently, continuously and endlessly, no matter whatever it takes or how difficult it may be, just to get the other person to love him back..
The other is of the idea that one's true love is a person with whom one can be just totally himself, without any pretentions or inhibitions.. or without any need of changing him from whom he actually, basically is..
Well.. I am a bundle of contradictions within myself.. this issue is no exception, as i practise both of these at different levels, to different fellow humans.. but with a quest to understand which amongst these two, is more real and true than the other.. the hardest or the easiest? the inconvenient lie or the convenient truth? the most self-less or the most selfish?
Well to say one last analogy, being the melting candle or being the uncompromising naked sun?

Voice of a Mended Heart

2009-02-09T16:16:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, in my most favorite television show "Larkrise to Candleford", the Character Fisher Bloom leaves the town of Candleford where he had come to work for a shortwhile, leaving behind his love Miss.Laura Timmins. She tells after that in tears to her father that she had been standing so close to him for so long that when he had gone, it felt like something had been torn away from her..
Now am listening to one of the most touching songs i ve ever heard- The utterly romantic and melancholic "O Re Piya" from Aaja Nachle.. and watching the snowfall through my window.. The thing about snowfalls that arrests me is that i see so much of them falling down, but in a pin-drop silence.. without making a noise.. it would be more befitting to call it as the descending down or waltzing down of the snow than the falling of the snow i suppose..
A collage of thoughts loom over my mind.. I want to give Voice to a mended heart.. And here it speaks to its beloved..
"I think i can compare my self filled with love, with a mud kettle filled till the brim with water, covered with a lid.. I was complete.. And then you came to me as a fluttering satin red ribbon.. And I mistook you who came to just adorn me for sometime, as a permanent part of me.. And then one day we had been seperated.. You, the fluttering colorful ribbon and I, the kettle were no more together.. How did I, who was complete even before you came to me, felt incomplete after you left me.. How did you, who simply flew away from me with the wind appeared to strike me as hard as a pelted stone thrown towards me.. I broke.. All the water in me spilled all around as a pool, with my broken pieces floating all over.. The spilled water was never the same as the one that was inside me, for it had a steady inflow of tears oozing out from every broken part of mine.. The initial aggressive tears that cried towards you for help were soon reduced to passive tears of helplessness.. And then the tears stopped, for I had no more of them in me.. And then, you, instead of running back to me to help and nurse me, expected me to collect back all the spilled water myself, with my own broken pieces and once again become a mud kettle filled with water till the brim, for you must have wanted not to feel guilty of shattering me, though unintentionally.. And how can I, who has always looked up to you, let you down.. I did come back together, but this time there was no water inside me, for all the love and tears had evaporated away.. I now have no more love to give people.. An empty, dry kettle.. And people want me to pour out water when they want.. Some try to fill me back.. Give me abundance of love.. Its just that they are not able to see that whatever they give evaporates away through my cracks.. And i ve acquired the reputation of being this arrogant, heartless kettle that, no matter how much of water is poured into it, does not pour out even a drop when expected.. Afterall, how can they, who are blind even to my cracks, see all the poured-in water evaporating away through them? But thank God that they are oblivious to my cracks.. Afterall i try so hard to make myself appear unaltered.. And i continue to succeed in appearing woundless and painless.. But Ironically, you who knows what has happened to me because of your departure, wants me to believe that even you are blind to my pain and agony.. And you continue to exist alongside others in this world.. You stand amongst a crowd of people looking at me from a distance.. And I do not know how do I speak out and make you understand what i go through, without others' hearing it..
But all through this, I have never blamed and I would never blame you for rendering me the way Iam.. After all, how can I, who had KNOWN that we were never meant to be together, blame YOU, who had UNDERSTOOD the same.. And thats why I continue to exist.. And thats why I continue to remain the same for those who look at me from a distance- which now includes you.."

Rhythm of Life

2009-01-29T15:24:00.000-08:00

Third day in Manchester..An english song was played to me by my friend..And i said that we would dance for it..A conclusion was reached that we would probably go to a party tomorow and dance there..If that happens, that would be a first for me..to dance in a disco..for that matter, even being in a disco would be a first..Lets see..
Meanwhile, i think of what a stress buster dancing actually is.. Even last week, while i was sitting in my room back in Leicester, i developed this urge to dance.. not that i was happy.. the emotion i was going through at that time could be best described as a state of mild but prolonged, underlying frustration and boredom.. I played a list of songs, switched the light off and kept dancing for quite some time, at the end of which, i infact was feeling energised and revitalised, inspite of the obvious tiredness that creeped up bcos of dance's being a physical activity.. Similarly, i sometimes develop an urge to sing, and i would be singing the songs close to my heart, for quite a while, where every line sung would feel like a soothing balm that is being applied over the mind and heart..May be thats why we all listen to music, and watch performances of dance and music.. Thank God that rhythamically modulated voices and sounds, and at times along with them, a poetically arranged set of words flowing from a rhythamically thinking mind, could come together as music.. Thank God that a schematically arranged set of footsteps, an emotionally driven bunch of facial muscles and a consonantally moving hand and body motions, could come together as dance.. More than anything else, thank God that these two phenomena were able to roost a unique ability of having the Heart as both their starting and finishing points- may it be one's own or that of others..
It is being said that good music and dance, when performed or listened/watched with the whole of soul, makes the mind attain unison with God.. Something which people would have witnessed if they had seen the movie 'Jodhaa Akbar' and the sequence involving the song 'Khwaja mere Khwaja'..
These ofcourse are a few of the millions of emotions that music and dance have the potentiality to provoke.. May be i would think and talk about each of the other emotions(ambitious?!?! :-) )at various points of time, when they are provoked inside me..
Meanwhile, let us try and orchestrate our lives as a big fat musical, where we would be able to grab a rhythm at every moment of it and dance and sing through it as seamlessly and as tirelessly as a waltz..Life's pace might shuttle between the slowest to the fastest and its pitch might roll between the lowest to the highest..But the heart's Music- let it be sung and listened to and its Dance- let it be performed and watched and ultimately,the rhythm of life- let it be springing up and staying on- unfalteringly and uninterruptedly..

Patience is the word

2009-01-28T17:26:00.000-08:00

Second day in Manchester.. I was walking through the streets of the city and saw a man standing in the middle of a pathway, still as a statue with his face painted white except for the eyes.. and a towel spread out for pass- byers to drop in pennies.. It was a first for me because previously, i had only seen people performing on an instrument or singing or simply asking pass-byers for pennies at circumstances as this, which in any case would demand a great deal of patience..
The ones who literally ask for a penny or two to people, would be venting out their pressure that would have bin buit up due to a mixture of patience and frustration, through their uttering of a word or two while calling out people.. And the ones singing or playing instruments would atleast have a chance to relieve themselves from the turmoil of looking at people indifferently walking past them, when they merge with and lose themselves to their tunes for a second or two.. And this person today.. He was standing there without batting his eyelids for hours, seeing thousands of people walking past him and a very few dropping a coin.. I would indeed not want to advocate for this activity which is popularly referred to as 'Begging'.. Rather, what strikes me is the quality of Patience, at times of immense pressure, the subsequent frustration and helplessness, that we would all have to possess at various points of time.. the times which would render our selves as a balloon filled with pressure and would present numerous needles pinching us all over and still requiring us to be stoic..
I sometimes think that i possess a considerable level of patience.. Still i have felt this urge to blast off or burst out during countless times..
During times when a vehicle iam travelling in gets stuck in a traffic or gets driven unnecessarily in a dragging pace, i have felt like running out and pelting stones on it.. Likewise, iam patient with long queues, for they atleast are orderly.. But when i am hurrying for a train and my queue gets an undue pause because of a mindless predecessor in the queue, i have felt like giving him two tight slaps.. Thank God i have never let them happen..
Seeing that man today has suddenly made me re-realise the value of the quality of patience- for whatever period it is required to be maintained. I dropped him twenty pens only because of the patience he retained through all the outer indifference and the inner frustration he should have had to stand.. True.. A tree has to wait till the spring for the leaves and flowers to adorn it.. A Polar Bear has to hibernate through a major part of the year to stand the test of Weather.. Patience sure would have its fruits.. At times, to learn, and to teach the loudest of lessons from and to people, we ought to possess the most silent of qualities that Patience is..

The Golden Age

2009-01-27T17:00:00.000-08:00

Am in the city of Manchester today.. and will be here for another three whole days.. I ve bin here, in this Hall of Residence of the University of Manchester earlier, which seems to have been a big home at the past.. Nevertheless, its a very old building, but a handsome one at that.. When i came here earlier, i had just arrived at the United Kingdom.. So wherever i went and whatever i did at that time- i saw them all through my eyes that were cucooned with a sense of anxiety and aloofness that characterised my feeling out of place.. Not that i feel at home in this country now.. Perhaps nowadays i feel at home with my feeling out of place!! or perhaps i have developed a little visibility towards the world around me, through all the opaqueness of the cucoons wound over me.. Being at this place in the cosy company of my best friend, makes me feel peaceful and warm..
The corridors of this hall have got innumerable doors one after the other and rooms at the either sides of the corridor.. when i opened a door after the other, the first thing to occur in my mind was a similarly structured hostel that i resided in, during my first year of Under Graduation.. I had initially so disliked that hostel because of my home sickness, and later i got accustomed to that place.. the following doors reminded me of my place of residence, in my second, third and final years of UG, which again had a similar structure.. That place, fondly called as TOWERS is something which i want the heaven to be like.. My life over there was something that saw me go through every humanly possible emotion.. which made me reach and remain at the crescendos of happiness.. which made me love life to the fullest.. which makes me believe that life perhaps could never get better than that.. that was the period which gets enveloped around me and renders warmth- which at once makes me comfortable and desperate.. It was a world of its own which i relished with a bated breath, for i always knew the exact time it was going to be extinct and i had to get out of it..
i was foolish enough to think everyday that the remaining days there, were going to feel like forever.. That place and the rest of the world could be compared to the Sun and the Moon respectively i suppose.. The brightness of that place made the rest of the world shine and glitter.. The brightness of that place made me wake up to the beauty of my outside world.. My memories of that place have the potential to make me feel anyday that, whatever i may have is NOTHING, and am a desolate soul in this maze of a world.. As i walked through these corridors today, i saw the place melting into thin air and getting replaced by my TOWERS' corridors, the difference being that the walls were painted by a collage of all my beautiful moments there.. they were all racing back as i was walking forward.. and in a few seconds, they had all been gone, and there i was.. ALONE..
But ya.. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.. And i would hopefully try and find beauty in everything around me, for life has to go on- whenever, wherever, whatever, however..

The Holy Gurudwara

2009-01-26T14:06:00.000-08:00

Let me temporarily break the 'Creativity & Me' series and write about something else. Today i happened to visit a Gurudwara for the first time in my life. It has always been a dream f mine to visit The Golden Temple, the most reverred of Gurudwaras, in Amritsar, Punjab, India. Inshah Allah, it ll soon happen.
God knows why, i have always had this fascination towards Punjab and anything Punjabi! The generosity, hospitality, courage and the generally magnanimous nature of the Punjabis, their cuisine, their language, their family systems, their lifestyle and Punjab on the whole- i have been flabbergasted by them all, to the extent of wishing to have been born as a Punjabi Sardar. My Punjabi fascination is special, especially because it has stood the test of my nature of getting instantly carried away by so many things, the moment they attract me.
Extremely hilarious and insane. But True!! At various points of time, i had wished to be a British, an American, a Brahmin, a member of the predominant community in a region called KONGU in my state, a Malayaali, a cat, a dog, a cow, an actor, and not to forget the innumerable movie characters, whom i assumed myself to be like, and had many a time, even unintentionally behaved and spoke and walked and danced the way they do, after the movie had stopped playing!!!! But why? Are these characters extremely and irresistably endearing and alluring to me, or am i dissatisfied with what i actually am, to the extent of labelling my true self as vacuous and trying to fill it up wid all these characters? Well, for once, I think i could spare my cynicism here and decide that its more due to these roles' enticements on me!
Coming back to Gurudwara, it was truly full of positive energy.. I washed my legs and hands, covered my head, went inside the shrine, bent down and prayed.. the moment saw the conglomeration and the subsequent entry into my heart, of all the good vibrations prevelant there.. I have learnt earlier that one of the prominent holy chants of Sikhism begins with the verses 'EK ONKAR'.. They were just pronounced by a Priest there, when i started walking towards the core of the shrine.. It was touching and made me want to believe that its not a coincidence.. Sat there for a while and had the served food in the Gurudwara, which i learnt, is a noble tradition practised to ensure that none leaves the Gurudwara with hunger.. Though i know it earlier, food was the last thing on my mind today, because i remember an incident once, some eight years ago, when me and my family were touring in Karnataka, a state in India.. We were enroute to a temple called Dharmasthala, were food is served all through the year.. We were funnily remarking that we should reach there at lunch time exactly, so that we do not miss the food.. And when we went there, i was shell shocked and ashamed to see that only the food was served at that time and the shrine was closed. It was like the Almighty telling me that 'You people came here for food and its here for you. Why see me?'.. Also, I remember seeing bunches of under privileged people thronging temples in lunchtime in my home state, where food is served to them, but by the government as a scheme.. In anycase, i wish everyone makes sure that, when he/she goes to a temple, its only Him and His Thoughts that should completely reside in their mind, body, heart and soul, and not anything else.. that wud indeed help not disturbing the purity in the temple's atmosphere..
I came back seduced, if i could say so, by the positivity of the place and i want to visit it in the future too, also because the philosophy of Sikhism, which i suppose is to have a 'Guru'(Teacher) and to follow his noble teachings, is so in line with the tradition i have been brought up in- to follow a Guru who will lead you to HIM..
Wish this positive vibe inhabits and reflects in whatever is being thought or acted or reacted.. Not just for me, but for every one of us..

Creativity and Me: 3

2009-01-24T04:11:00.000-08:00

Today i would want to write about something which is being talked about everywhere- Mr. A R Rahman's triple Oscar nominations, a first of this sort for an Indian, ever. I for one, am deeply happy. A happiness that is not superficial, and instead generates and resides somewhere deep inside the heart, coming to the surface through unanticipated smiles and welling tears, both of which are consciously controlled by me to remain exactly where they rise from, thus maintaining the depth of my happiness, which would have transformed into a more revelling, short lived and superficial kind, had i allowed the escape of a tear drop from my eyes or a broader smile from my lips that would resonate in my chest. Thats the thing about our deep emotions i suppose- the nature of their getting diluted and evaporated, the moment they get expressed- though sometimes for the good :-)
But has Mr. Rahman been less of a genius, before this historical feat? Not actually. Its just that our thought process has been trained to look up to the Recognition by the West. Even in Fashion, a Designer gets acknowledged as being successful, only when he showcases in Paris. It certainly would not have taken Mr.Rahman this long to gain an Oscar nomination, had he been a Composer of Western Origin i suppose. The road to the high Western Recoginitons , and thereby Success in worldly terms, obvioulsy becomes far shorter for a Westerner, than an Outsider.
Ms. Meryl Streep has had fifteen Acting Oscar Nominations so far. Leave alone the West. Mr. Nasseruddin Shah does not even get nominated, even in Indian Award Shows. I use the word EVEN before INDIAN AWARDS, because of their nature to shun good works of art for more commercial enterprises. Afterall, the Western Recognitions do not have the kind of credibility they possess, for nothing. The World is yet to witness an Award show as organised and as exhuberent as the Academy Awards. The Oscars, with all its alleged flaws, cannot be accused of marginalising talent in favour of the Commercial Market, like the way their Indian Counterparts do i suppose. The world is yet to see an array of Master Designers lined up, the way Paris and Milan do every year. We somehow have this afinity towards Mediocrity and a refusal to step out of it for the better. Here in India, the general public decides as who should be awarded, as far as the most popular award show is concerned. I often wonder as whether the public is credible enough a jury, to adjudge the abilities of Artists, as Artists. Here PR skills gain more recognition for a person than his talent itself. When a Creator gets acknowldged for the Talent more than anything else, the World will start witnessing much more Masters in every Craft.. Till then, To achieve success, We have no choice left except to either expect the 'renowned' native recognitions to step out of commercialisation towards the pursuit of true talent, or to follow the Worldly ways- to start working our way up towards the Western Recognitions.

Creativity and Me: 2

2009-01-21T06:57:00.000-08:00

Yesterday i talked about the awe inspiring and thought provoking Creativity of the Master Craftsmen.. Another thing about these Creators that i gasp at, is their ability to imbibe the mood and feel of the place and people they are talking about in the film, and reflect it on screen. I have learnt that film makers who decide to set their film in a particular milieu, indulge in a lot of research about it to make their final work bear authenticity. Some filmmakers, i have heard, set their films in their home land and the home soceity, which they have grown up in or lived in- the one which is infused in their heart and blood. One such example is Almodovar's VOLVER, which i had mentioned yesterday. It is set in his home town La Mancha in Spain. Whatever be the case, i wonder how much of observation they should have made about the place and people to stuff their characteristics into their movies and its characters. I especially reminisce with awe, their eye for details- to do so much detailing and yet keep the focus always on the plot, rather than getting lost in their indulgence to achieve detailing. And talking about detailing makes me think about one potential problem that makers face- that of OVER INDULGENCE. Over Indulgence, i think, hides one's ability to see flaws in one's own work and makes him lose the rationality that is required to enable him to judge his work from an outsider's point of view. This, i suppose, would thereby make his labour of love, appear perfect to him, which in actuality, may not be so. I look up to the Masters of Whatever Crafts, for having been able to come up with their Masterpieces, which, i think had become possible only due to their ability to restrain from being over-whelmed by their own work and their having been able to maintain rationality and balance all through their Creative Journey. This, also, is one of the many things i want to learn from these Creators- to not get over-whelmed by our own creations and to move on, and to keep creating on and on, without sitting and keeping on admiring our own works.. I remember once telling a friend of mine that had i been at the position of A R Rahman, the musical genius, i doubt whether i would have been able to create this many masterly scores, for with my current unrefined state of mind, i would have sat back at the very initial successes of my creative journey and marvelled at my own work and at the same time, intimidated myself more than motivating myself, as how would i be able to raise above my own previous standards. The one difference in the issue of falling too much in love with one's own work and marvelling at it, between the other Creators and me would be that, they i think generally admire their work, for they think too high of themselves, whereas I for that matter, would do the same, due to my inability to balance the sudden upswing of my self- worth, from my own negative opinion about myself, to the high postive standards suddenly set by others through their feedback for my works. I understand the value of A BALANCED STATE OF MIND that i should maintain to succeed continuously in life. And i have a wonderful friend to help me achieve that.. Inshah Allah, i hope to acquire, retain and maintain such a mindset, so that i never sit back and instead, i keep on creating. More reminiscence and inferences about Creators and Creations in the coming days.. Cheers!!

Creativity and Me

2009-01-20T17:06:00.000-08:00

I just watched Pedro Almodovar's much acclaimed film VOLVER. It truly has the stamp of a Master Craftsman, that Almadovar is said to be. I want to watch some more movies of his. More about it later. But iam amazed by the creativity of these Creators. May it be Masters of Filmmaking like Almodovar, Alejandro Gonzalez Inarittu or Clint Eastwood.. I marvel at their talent to come with such amazing works..Their ability to come up with such striking, sincere, passionate works and importantly their artfulness that comes across. I do not know whether they make it a point that their works be artful or its just that they have a natural flair for it; a knack- so that without even their trying, it just happens.. I wonder how they create works that are so real and so close to a common man's life, yet so hard for a common man to ever conceive something like that.. The theme behind these movies that i get at the end of them, leaves me wondering as how in the world were the creators able to get it across by pretending all the way through the movie that its just an ordinary, real life tale; No preaching or no on-your-face kind of dialogues. Thats where the Mastry of the creators come to work i suppose- In telling an extraordinary story, behind the face of an ordinary-looking tale!I understand how it takes a Creator nothing less than a Master, to tell a tale that is so identifiable with real life, and yet to narrate an idea, that though strikes one for its identity with the common man's life, leaves one breathlessly wondering at what a genius the Creator should be to be able to deliver the whole experience that his movie is. I think i have captured atleast a fraction of the essence of what i feel.
As i usually say to my dearest friend, it would be nice if i just make the person, to whom i want to express something heart- felt, touch my heart and make him/ her understand what i feel by transmitting my emotions through the touch- for my attempts to put them across through words have always left me desiring for an improved efficiency in my doing so.
More on Creativity in the coming days.. Cheers!!

Plants and Human Plants

2009-01-19T03:23:00.000-08:00

I have always bin crazy enough to think about things which are generally not considered worthy enough for being thought about.. Or so i believe.
One such issue is the human nature of calling the usage of plants and tress for whatever purposes, as harmless, which especially includes their usage for our food. But why do we, the ones who say that plants have lives, take the very same for granted?
Yes. When a vegetable or fruit is plucked from it, it does not cease to live. But so are we. People, God forbid, who had lost a body part, dont cease to live either.
Yes. the tree will still give rise to fruits and vegetables even after the earlier ones are plucked. Whereas its not the case with animals and humans. But hello, do they give out the very same fruits that have bin plucked, once again, from the very same part of the plant? There are this many dissimilarities. And similarities. Are there any?
Spare me the discourses of botony and zoology. Me myself being away from my home land, am struck by one major commonality. The choice and ability to survive when moved away from home. We might know that plants, when uprooted from their home ground, may or may not survive. So are we humans aren't we? We may not literally die as they do. But lead what is called as AADHI ZINDAGI in hindi. An incomplete life. Some long to get back home. Some do it. Some keep living with it. And yes some get adopted- though the level of securing oneness with their new environment may vary from 1 to 99. A 100? I doubt. And the uprooted plant still needs some soil of its home ground to be shifted along with it to support its foreign existence. Like i need my brother's photograph by my bedside. Like i need my dose of Indian Television and Radio. Like i need my timely conversations over phone and Internet to my people. Like i need my pickle and rice. Like i need things that make me feel at home, which may not necessarily be synonymous with anything and everything that is Indian.
Now, Why do we take them for granted? May be because they dont talk and express their opinion? May be because they dont react in humanly- understandable terms, when plucked or cut? I want to Thank God that I react to people whenever there is an interaction worth reacting. Thank God i am able to express my views. But i have read somewhere that reacting to an abusal by means of silence requires a lot more courage than speaking up against it.
Do the plants do just that?
Why do we not choose to appreciate the nobility of plants- We who have heard that a plant grows better if we talk kind words to them everyday. We who will not exist had they not existed. We who need them at every walk of life. We who see them living. True. We cannot exist without utilising them. But in return, shall we have a soft corner for them? Treat them as lives worth loving?
And now, I doubt that too because, We who are clearly at the mercy of other lives, sometimes choose to take away the peace from the lives of even the HUMAN PLANTS, by which i mean the humans who are considered SOFT TARGETS.
Beat them, abuse them, slap them, expoit them, bully them, disturb them! Afterall they may not choose to or just not potent enough to react in a way that wud prevent further advances. Lets realise that EVERY LIFE BORN HAS GOT ITS RIGHT TO LIVE. FOR DOING JUST THAT, SOME REQUIRE OTHERS TO LET THEM LIVE. LET US REALISE THAT WE STILL CAN LIVE OUR LIVES TO THE FULLEST, BY NOT BOTHERING PEOPLE, IF THEY DO NOT DESERVE TO. In short, as they say, LETS LIVE AND LET LIVE!! LETS NOT MISUSE OUR POWER. JUST THE WAY THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE LESS POWERFUL THAN US, BENEATH US, THERE OFCOURSE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN US, ABOVE US. EVEN THE MOST POWERFUL MAN HAS THE ALMIGHTY ABOVE HIM..
And ofcourse, lets love plants; pour them a little more water, in a little more gentle way, say a silent sorry when pluckin them, carress them with a little more finesse and smile at them!! I think we can do that!! To make them feel that their giving is acknowledged and thanked, rather than making them feel exploited..

The Quality of Happiness

2009-01-17T02:10:00.000-08:00

I was listening to a latest, romantic number..
which involved a boy tryin to woo a girl, to make her fall in love with him..
this case of guys tryin to woo girls,is what happens with the majority of affairs i suppose.. what if its the reverse? how would a guy feel when a girl had actually tried to woo him and made him accept her love! wont he miss the thrilling and wonderful part of chasing the girl for days or even months together and finally get her to love him!!
i tried writin a lyrical love letter that a guy, who had accepted the love of a girl who had chased him, would write..
this cant be called poetry bcos Wordsworth has said tat "poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful emotions recollected in tranquility"!! :-)
these words wer not written while recollectin in tranquility.. instead, written with the flow of the overflow.. and here it goes..

"My Dearest!
thinkin of u obviously..
the long existing surreal wish of mine tat i shud ve been smitten by u head over heels and shud ve chased u, ran behind u and then made u accept my love, gained strength yet another time..
how beautiful it would have been.. if i had roamed for months together in a state of mesmerisation behind u..
to see u run in front of me down a staircase, where ur skirt wud flutter like a whole garden giving rise to buds and blossoming into flowers smoothly, simultaneously..
to see u dance in rain when little diamond drops of water wud drip from ur curls,which i wud see wid closed eyelids, and feel the beauty of u..
to hide behind a tree, peep out from there and see u smile, where honey would evaporate away from ur lips..
to dissolve within myself seamlessly like a cream being poured over coffee, when you come and speak to me..
to see ur hair waver as smoothly in the air as a teardrop would flow over the cheek..
to see u smile at me, and feel that the round world develops two hands and hugs me within it..and during every step of this,to close my eyes and to make my world come to a standstill,which wud include even my heartbeat..How wud it hav been!! hmm..
Wait a mintute.. Why should i think that the time has gone!Why not now? Why not for my lifetime.. forever!
I have got this blessed life time, the blessing being you yourself!
Love ofcourse is perennial isnt it!!It not just is perennially present,but is perennially, newly born every moment too isnt it!!
I not only want to love u forever, but also to newly fall in love with u every moment, forever..Iam sure u wud never cease to fascinate me!!
Afterall i have got the most wonderful girl ever.. Who makes me feel that i should also be born again and again in this world, as many times as she is destined to be born.. to love her and to be loved by her..Whole heartedly!Endlessly!
How do i conclude my letter! wat do i say!
Let me say the words which would have reflected through every word that i ve written here.. that I love you!! Completely! Cluelessly!"

Uuf! Ok Back to reality!! Good music, true, has d potential to transport us to a place that embodies that emotions which it encapsules!! Lets listen to good music, read good books, watch good movies.. the kind of good spirit they leave us with, wud, iam sure, revitalise and refresh our life and approach, even after they cease to play..
even after we are back to our real world..
As they say, happiness, which fuels up our lives is what is generated from the inside of us isn't it!!
lets see to it tat it never ceases to generate, and wipes away the confusions of our eyes to lend us a clearer and brighter vision towards world and people..

The Process within..

2009-01-16T02:04:00.000-08:00

I was checking my mails and suddenly had a mild curiosity to read through the very initial mails that i had sent.. the ones which were sent by me,may be five to six years ago..and i was astonished by the way i had been thinking.. near shocked by my thought process that had existed at that time.. i was not able to identify the current me, with the kind of things i had written and the way i had thought..but i have not quite realised this process within me..
like i dont see an inch of myself having changed when i stand in front of the mirror everyday,from what i was the previous day..
like i see how much my appearance has changed when i compare my photographs of two different periods of time..
I see how much i have evolved! by that i don mean that i ve become a superhuman or a saint! its just that now,iam not the person who comes across as the author of my mails, a few years ago.. i think this process of change happens with everyone.. the ones who, from time to time, introspect themselves and change the way they think as a measure of adoptability.. and the ones who get unknowingly changed by situations!
But i must say my change processes have always been gradual.. i have somehow failed everytime i had tried having a radical change. they never have lasted. but the gradual ones.. they have always been the ones which have stood the test of time!
At the end iam happy to note that, had i still been behaving to people the way i had behaved a few years ago, and had i still been handling situations the way i had handled them a few years ago, i would have been fooled and stagnated, now that these very people and very situations have changed and are not quite the same as they were a few years ago!!
iam happy that am being a river that flows than being a pool that is stagnated..
iam not unhappy that destiny has laid its paths for me already..
i still know i can give life to plants tat are in my way..
i still know i can give life to the fishes tat swim ..
i still know that i can leave my drops in the trees and grasses of the shores along my way..
I STILL KNOW I CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE OR TWO, WITH ALL MY CONSTRAINTS AND SET CONDITIONS!!
Afterall, i don see myself as ultimately draining up into the sea.. rather i think that am watering the sea, so that it doesnt get dry..

LOVE?!?! EXCUSE ME!!

2009-01-15T02:18:00.001-08:00

In a post before a few posts, i had written about whether or not we shall love another human being to such an extent that we think without that person, we ll shatter..
Well i had actually been a die hard romantic! or can i say i had been a no-brainer?
I was seeing a movie which showed the lead actors being so much in love with each other.. even dialogues such as "how far u may go away from me, when i wish from the depth of my heart, u ll come to me!" were muttered and consquently, i got reminded of LOVE in various movies! not just marital love.. but love in all its forms- let it be between anybody!not just in movies, but instances of overwhelming love in stories, books, or even in actual life!
Why would we be influenced by another human being, to such an extent that his/her thoughts occupy our minds more than that about ourselves!
Of course i dont mean that we should be indifferent to humans! Never!
I believe that the three positive emotions that we could show towards our fellow humans could be RESPECT, HUMANITY & LOYALTY! Enough!Having these emotions towards others would never make us lose our balance like LOVE does i suppose!
Whoever invented this word LOVE?
ITS ONE PRECIOUS LIFE WHERE WE KEEP HOPPING FROM ONE DIEING SECOND TO THE OTHER NEW SECOND,WHICH IS GIVEN BIRTH BY THAT PREVIOUS DIEING SECOND TO GIVE US YET ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY TO ATTAIN OUR ASPIRATIONS!!
Why be pulled down by emotions?(read suicidal)
Lets be balanced and March forward with firm footsteps!
p.s.: a question to myself: Shiva, are u a believer in wat u ve said, or u so want urself to believe in this idea and tats y u r sayin it?

The Diary of Anne Frank

2009-01-14T04:40:00.000-08:00

i watched the five episode series of the BBC, based on and titled as THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK.for those who do not know what it is, it is the personal diary of a fourteen year old girl ANNE FRANK, whose family went into the hiding in AMSTERDAM during the second world war, who finally were arrested by the nazis.. Anne had died in one of the camps in 1945.. her diary has then been discovered and is considered a record of an innocent girl's and her family's endurance through the times of war!her life, depicted through the series was immensely moving to say the least.. I want my parents to watch this.. they would find it equally moving.. After all i have got my genes from them!
When i set out to write about it, i find that my blog is a similar record of my thoughts preserved for posterity! i have this strange idea that though i am not a celebrity now, soon i would become one and people would start surfing about me and read through all my posts..one day my thoughts will start having an influence!
Onseeing the series, i marvel at and immensely appreciate the value of freedom, which we all take for granted!! How wud a life be where we r tied up and denied freedom!! how would a life be where we r at the mercy of our fellow human beings, when all we want is to just live a peaceful life of our own, with no interference to others!
I want to question the presence of GOD.. the girl had wanted to have a normal life, just like every other human being.. why was she denied that? How in the world can people be consistently merciless wen they keep seein people undergo suffering bcos of them!
May be God doesnt see the begining and ending of life as birth and death respectively, like we do!
May be when i reach heaven(how come iam so sure of it!?), i ll see Anne Frank there, having been given a living there by God, designed to compensate all the torments on her earthly life!May be!!
After all i cant say that GOD does not exist! HE is the only one who iam sure will never shut the doors for me!!
GOD GIVE US PEACE!! EVERYTHING ELSE CAN WAIT!!

A pandemic phenomenon called Generalisation!

2009-01-13T05:45:00.000-08:00

I was working on one of my projects and came across the issue of GENERALISATION!!
Seriously, i think we all have been doing this since time immemorial!!
"Girls do a lot of make up"
"Guys are always careless"
"All women watch day time television"
"Husbands jus cross their legs, drink coffee, read newspapers and command things"
"All youth booze and fag and run behind girls"
Not just this, it exists in every level isn't it!!
"Indians behave this way.." "Americans think that way.." "Italians love this food.." "the French are fond of this!!"
And now! its fun at times & help take a conversation forward or serve as stuff for purposeless chitchat! in passing of mocking comments or in deliberate arguments!!
But in reality, jus how inaccurate is this!!
Whenever a generalisation is attempted at, it would be pretty obvious that the details, nuances and specificities that are a part of the factors involved get lost..
For example, India, like any other country, is not a country which could be called as being opinionated and having an identity, that are uni- dimensional. While differences exist between the various geographical provinces within it, there are issues that are not specific to the geographical divisions.
The opinions, personalities and outlooks of one group of people in one country, in this modern day world, even if contrasting with another group within the country, could indeed be synonymous with that of groups of people who come under the other nationalities!!
So is it not hightime that people are treated as individuals rather than being branded without a reason as belonging to one group or other, unless they actually willingly fit into it!!
Good people!! Lets think and evolve!! Cheers!!

A man called A R RAHMAN

2009-01-12T12:40:00.000-08:00

"A R Rahmanji, my most favorite music director has won the Golden globes and am looking forward to his winning the Oscar"
how many pairs of lips would have uttered these words in this day!
These are moments when the happinees transcends all barriers and unites a Nation in its feeling of a high sense of oneness! it isn't bad! i mean why not! there is such a sense of healthy happiness associated with this!The triumph of this Man is no less than a fairy tale climax of a high voltage drama! Ha! there lies the trick!
Jus when i mention the word CLIMAX, i hear MASAKALLI from DELHI 6, and i jump like a child having seen a candy shop! What an ecstasic score! A new game! A new set of cards set out!
And the show goes on.. and on.. and on..
I turned my stereo volume high with JAI HO! i knew my English flatmates wud hear it!
Ha! thats wat i want! I want to tell them that its My Rahmanji and he has just done this feat!
I may not have partied today! But when i walked out, i noticed two things!
One. I realised i was smiling and feeling good about myself!
Two. My footsteps had had an all new rhythm attached to them!
After all, i too, like millions of others, was walking behind this 43-year old man's footprints on the sands of time!! :-)
And proudly so!!!!

its been a while!

2009-01-10T13:53:00.000-08:00

( i don know the source f this pic! from net! tats it!!)

its been a while since i wrote last..

i was going through a few celebrity blogs and was surprised by the frequency of posts of quite a few.. and if they are able to do this despite their busy schedules, why not me!

so dusted off and am back to writing!

In this span of two months, a lot of things happened.

Well. A few things happened outside and as a result, a lot of things happened inside me!

Infact they are still going on, and will continue to!

I asked myself a million questions, the key ones at the end of them being

1. is it wise to love someone so much that he/she becomes indispensible and without whom you ll shatter? Well he/she is just another HUMAN BEING!! isnt it!!

2. by thinkin like this, have i become misanthropic?

Well, i dont know whether or not this mindset of mine is a passing phase! I await a new dawn, that does not have any of the shades it has had so far! something brighter! something NEW!

I want myself to explore my inner self and bring to surface, things which have not suffaced so far!stuff that are daring and liberating! Sensible yet senseless! I am going to love the world!Iam just waiting to discover that 'world',that i can fall in love with and as a result, love myself more and more!!

The way of life..

2008-11-09T16:56:00.001-08:00

folks!

good to be writing after a few days!

it was a lovely weekend, and lovely being synonymous not only with idyllic, but also with being refreshing and having been able to do works without a time limitation..

and being able to do things more out of choice than because of having no-other-choice!

A discussion with my best friend just made me remember on how anything or any issue could be taken in life, the two ways being 1. simple and 2. complicated

No matter what the issue is, they could be taken in a simple way!

But the resolve and clarity of mind to decide to accept things and being able to think in this simple way may not be as simple!

It needs a lot of courage and a great sense of optimism and a take-it-easy, cool attitude!

Afterall, none would generally want to live a complicated life!

All what it needs is the intelligence to chart a course, that would make life free of complications!

As they say, All is well, that ends well!!

Cheers!

NOTE:the cool pic is clicked not by me, but a friend.

I didnt have time?!?!?!?!

2008-11-05T16:09:00.000-08:00

hey ya!

I missed out writing yesterday cos of bein lazy, because i dont believe in saying "i didnt have time and i was busy!" .
b'cos i believe that whatever may be the amount of work we have, we can allot time for everything and do everything!
But i think two things are to be noted, while doing this!
One: we should not really take it into our mind that we are actually doing so much of work
Two: when we finish doing all the things we set out to do on a particular day, we should also not feel overwhelmed by it!
Both, i think, will slow down us, the moment we do either of them!

OOPS! i set out to write something, but ended up writing this whole funda, while trying to admit my laziness!

Yes, Iam really lazy! must speed up! Atleast thats what my dearest buddy says! Nevertheless, ITS DAMN TRUE!

Lets try to never use the phrase I DIDNT HAVE TIME !!
ITS THE MIND AND WILLINGNESS THAT ACTUALLY MATTER!
And now, its high time i practise what i ve got preachy about!!!!

Cheers !

I Me Myself

2008-11-03T16:39:00.000-08:00

this pic isnt mine.its by one f my frenz.think its gr8!

Hi all..

isnt it true that it isnt totally bad to be all alone, not through a lifetime but atleast for a year, or a few months or weeks or even an hour or two now and then..

It s not like we should deliberately runwaway somewhere. but if a timely loneliness happens by chance, we could take it positively, instead of feeling like a mess!

I think it has many good things- the first being thinking what we actually are and what we want and like and dont like- which we hardly get to do when we are with people; read a book or see a movie or take a walk or do shopping or take a ride in the city bus around and much more.

Ofcourse iam saying the above things since i like to do these when i am alone. like this, each has his/her own likes!

It makes us enriched. As the character Arthur Abbott says in the movie The Holiday, we all are supposed to feel that we are the leading men/ladies of our own lives!

This process could make us feel just that, all over again!

Cheers!

A proof of the power of an Art form

2008-11-02T08:55:00.000-08:00

hello!!

today s sunday and i was expecting some rain.. nevertheless, the climate is lovely and pleasant!

and by the way. mm. not BY THE WAY.

Firstly, many would know what the picture that is there above is.

Well for those who dont know( as i was till sometime ago!!), this belongs to the film La vie en rose..

what to say.. i wanted to see the film when Marion Cotillard won the best female lead actor oscar for this film..

One problem about me and movies is that, i watch them with preconceived notions..

Naturally, i end up disappointed mostly cos i would ve either expected too much or the mag or website in which i had read the things wud ve blown things out of proportion!!

Very surprisingly, this movie and Marion surpassed all my expectations!

it was so spell binding, intimidating and collapsing that i had to watch Notting Hill twice and get out of the movie!!

I wonder whether any actor could act better than this!!

All of u, do watch it, if you love cinema!

Sure you ll not b disappointed!!

Happy week ahead all f u!!

Cheers!!

this is me- probably

2008-11-01T13:19:00.000-07:00

hi all!!

I too have said a customary HI as we all are taught to do in the begining!!
But don panic that iam a boring person who challenges conventions without rhyme and reason because I think I am too intelligent!!

No way!! I just think it would be fun and cool if we talk about conventions and try and be liberated people!!

Lets talk and make each other's lives beautiful!

Iam Shiva, Iam 21. Welcome to my blog!!